Becoming Me—Unapologetically

I Am Not Society’s Standard—and That’s Okay

I’m far from being considered a model. Hell, some days I skate by on nothing more than a great attitude. I’ve never been what society deems “beautiful” or “pretty.” Honestly, I’ve never considered myself either. There are days I feel adorable and cut - but let’s be real, every woman (maybe even men) has days where they feel like they resemble a troll.

I Am Me

I’m not perfect, and I don’t claim to be. I like food, obviously, I didn’t get this fabulous because I eat cucumbers. I have curves and lines, dimples and stretch marks. I’m considered “fat,” and I don’t disagree. At my heaviest, I was just a couple of pounds shy of 300. I have internal and external scars, both mine to bear. Some people love me, some like me, some tolerate me. I don’t know if anyone hates me - I feel like I’m not very hateable.

I’ve done good and bad - to myself and to others. I love a comfortable pair of cotton shorts and a t-shirt, and I’ll go out without makeup. I can’t always get my hair professionally done, but when I can, I do. I’m loud, random, and honest. I don’t pretend to be anyone I’m not. 

I am who I am—take it or leave it.

Finding My Worth

It took me 50 years on this earth to realize my worth. And it wasn’t because people didn’t try to tell me - I just wasn’t ready to see it. With anything in life, the light has to click on for you, even when others have been lighting your path all along.

I like me. I can’t say I love me 100%, but I do love parts of me: my heart, my loyalty, my communication, my follow-through. I’m working on removing negative energy from my life because, at the end of the day, negativity is toxic. I’m also working on silencing the dark thoughts, doubt, and overthinking. I hope clarity replaces confusion. I hope hope replaces fear. I want the light of my spirit to shine so bright that nothing can dim it.

The Journey Forward

One thing I learned a long time ago: no one can save you. So get your ass up - because you’re either making moves or making excuses.

Since starting this journey on September 3rd at 289 pounds (currently 262), I’ve been tested more than once. It was easy to fall back into old patterns...but you know what? My soul doesn’t fit there anymore. I’m becoming someone new. Someone open to change. Someone who wants to live life and enjoy the small things. I want to be so complete in myself that anyone who shares space with me feels completely safe to be themselves too.

My new journey requires me to be fierce, stand in my truth, stay a little vulnerable, and always move forward - and I’m up for the task. 

I’ve hurt people, and people have hurt me. I’ve forgiven them and myself. If I’ve ever said or done anything to hurt you, I’m truly sorry. The Shawna of yesteryear is not the Shawna that stands today. I’m not asking you to forget—I’m asking you to forgive.

Your Turn

If you’re reading this and waiting for someone to save you—stop. No one can do it for you. Get up, make the move, take the step. Your soul deserves the life you’ve been dreaming of. Start today, because excuses don’t build the life you want > action does. 

Be fierce. 

Stand in your truth. 

Let your light shine so bright that nothing and no one can dim it.


You matter to me and I love you 💙

Location: Florida, USA

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